About 13 years ago, I made friends with a fellow wrestling fan. He introduced me to CM Punk, Steve Corino and all that good independent stuff that my pre teen WWE-centric self wasn’t aware of.
We went to a FWA show in London. I went with my mum, he went with a friend. I had floor seats and he had seats in the balcony to my right overlooking the ring. During the show, I couldn’t shake this uneasy feeling as I felt from my peripheral vision that he was watching me. Nah, he’s obviously just looking at the match and I’m being silly. I would think. I glanced up, yep he’s staring.
I’m weirded out but my pre teen socially awkward self doesn’t know how to address the situation so I just internalise it (as always) and just watch the show, pretending that I can’t feel his eyes burning into me. CM Punk and Raven make their glorious entrances for their match. These are our two favourite wrestlers, the two wrestlers that we spent 90% of our MSN Messenger chats yabbering away about. I’m really enjoying this. My first live show and I get two see my favourites. I glance up at the balcony from the corner of my eye and he’s still eye balling me. Errr…he continues this throughout the whole show, not watching it.
The show ends. We say our goodbyes. My awkward, introverted self did not have the balls to say ‘What the hell dude?’.
(This GIF of Birdman was my internal facial expression)
A couple days later I receive a package from him. It’s a VHS with his favourite CM Punk matches on it. Great. I go online to thank him. Then he types paragraphs upon paragraphs declaring his love for me. It’s extremely intense. Before I can reply he sends me a picture of his forearm with my name carved in it. I’m knocked back that I actually semi freak out. Though I was such a meek girl back in the day, I tell him that I don’t see him in that way, the self harm is not healthy but I really treasure our friendship and I hope we can still be cool. Yeah, I was innocent and naive back then.
He then hurls this horrible tirade of abuse at me. Typical ‘nice guy’ fedora shit of how I led him on and I shouldn’t have met him at a wrestling show if I wasn’t interested in him romantically. We only spoke about wrestling and that crazy msn conversation was the first time I had any inclination of any romantic feelings. The stuff he call me is horrible. I block him. Another guy from online wrestling group of friends, who I considered a dear friends, starts to message me, calling a ‘heartless bitch’ etc etc. I haven’t spoken to any of them since.
Today I was clearing up, when I came across that CM Punk VHS that he sent me and this memory came flooding back. I never watched it but I keep it regardless. Considering the timing of when he sent it to me, I half expect it to actually be a really fucked up video of himself doing or saying something fucked up.
"Typical ‘nice guy’ fedora shit of how I led him on and I shouldn’t have met him at a wrestling show if I wasn’t interested in him romantically."
Nice Guys are always telling women that they shouldn’t lead men on by hanging out with them if they have no romantic or sexual interest. But if women followed that advice and refused to hang out with anyone they’re not romantically or sexually interested in, those same Nice Guys would complain about women assuming that men only care about getting a girlfriend or getting laid.